You carry that load everyday?
Smiling, when you feel like crying
Walking, to tire yourself up,
For a goodnight’s sleep
Saying “I’m fine” with a smiley
Just after writing your own suicide note
Keeping yourself busy with work
Just to feel fine
Don’t you want to fall apart in front of the person
Who you are sure will stay, even after seeing you shatter
Or you are not sure if you have any such person left?
Has he left?
And you’re alone, waiting for the impossible?
It’s different type of pain
When you don’t cry anymore
You just take a deep breath, swallow your tears, while your nostrils are exhaling
And just feel that cold chill inside
Numbing it is
Worse than feeling too many things at the same time
Still you choose to give it another go
No one knows you’re in your second inning
No one would know what changed
No one will see the scars which still bleeds fresh
They will still complain
Still treat you badly
But now, they would not matter
Now they would not hurt you
Coz now they mean nothing to you
Not coz you survived
Coz you chose YOU over everyone