I miss being a daughter!
Being a daughter to me means being overly pampered and overly protected by my parents. You sleep to your heart’s content and wake up without thinking of what you have to cook today or when to do the laundry and by when should I finish cleaning up. Being a daughter means I can do anything, even mistakes and I will be forgiven in a heartbeat. It means that nobody in the world has a right to misbehave with me and if anyone raises their voice on me, they will be faced by my parents and then, that person needs god’s grace to face themselves ever again. Whether family, friends, acquaintances or complete strangers, I was protected from everyone and their toxic opinions and advices. My parents would always filter out things for me. I could be my caring sweet self or a complete Brat, and for both my moods, I was loved.
For many years I wasn’t taught or allowed cooking considering that ye toh poori life karna hai but since I loved cooking I started it slowly and got a hang of it gradually. Like many beginners, I used to make all sorts of maps in the name of rotis- Australia, England, Sri Lanka etc, but my papa used to eat that burnt piece of amoeba shaped dough happily and sometimes even with complements. I have seen him saying Neeti, aaj kya hogaya hai, aata change kiya hai kya? Rotiyaan achi nahi bani! So this is definite that his taste buds were still working fine, but how he could not taste the bitterness in the black rotis I made, is still a mystery. In the last few years I have seen terrible fathers, teaching and being example to their children for some unethical and inhuman behavior, and then I realized how lucky I have been. Because before that I used to think that all the fathers were like my father, teaching and being an epitome of the best behavior always.
Being a daughter, I was not judged, not for my habits, not for my cooking skills, not for my mood swings and not on my bad days in particular. I always found a shoulder, some days to cry on and the other days to sit on and see the whole world from a height from where everything seemed great and glittery. On my bad days, these 2 people would stick by my side, wiping my tears and putting their warm fluffy hands over my head, humming songs to me, giving me snapshots of the news and smilingly tolerating my anger over life and sometimes over God even. They would narrate me beautiful stories from their lives (I suppose not all of which were true) teaching me what is right and what is wrong during my worst days and then dancing with me on weird songs with gross lyrics. It was fun. Life was fun. And they were showing me this shitty world from a distance on their shoulders, filtering out every sad and dirty part of it.
Being a daughter meant that I could meet them whenever I wished to without having to take anyone’s permission, I could hug them whenever I was overwhelmed and I could smile without tears in my eyes for the things I held inside of me. It was a beautiful time and these humans I’m talking about are a pair of genuinely beautiful humans, not just parents. Back in those times I did not need to cry in the washrooms, sob with cloth inside my mouth and assure myself sab theek hojaega, so that no one gets to know my miserable state. Rather, I would howl and cry like a baby so that these two caring and loving creatures would come and ask what’s wrong and then treat me with good food to see that smile on my sticky slimy face.
I see around and all my friends, even their parents are still bestowed with presence of both their parents and I feel jealous. I know he was extra ordinarily good and that’s why God took him. Last year I realized for the first time what exactly was the meaning of Ache log jaldi chale jaate hai. But I guess I have to wait, just wait infinitely for an ending which would unite us as a family for whom I meant the world and who would still protect me from this ugly world.
I do not know whether I am a good daughter or not, but one thing that I am sure of is that I am a happy daughter! Because the kind of parents I have got makes me the luckiest girl in the world and trust me when I say this after seeing this ugly world, I couldn’t have asked for anything else as beautiful in this life as being a daughter of Manju & Rakesh Arora.
I don’t write much these days because I fear I would want to write more which would result in creation of another river that I might make, but on days like these (Daughter’s Day), I feel like pouring my heart out and letting the world know of the kind of maa and papa I have been blessed with. You know, my father had battled depression for most of his life, so much so that he had to take medicines for some hours of peaceful sleep, but I have never seen him misbehave with anyone in the name of depression. Using the illness as an excuse to behave badly with anyone was not him, rather on the contrary, he is the life of any party and I am not saying this because I am his daughter but one can verify this from anyone who remotely knows him in person. This is the kind of upbringing that I have got and I am so happy to have been born to these beautiful parents who gave me my heaven on earth and gave me this un-kalyug type ki upbringing.
So Daughter’s Day for me is not about posting pictures or publicly just wishing someone for the sake of it and next day treating them like shit behind closed doors, but it is about the happy daughters being thankful for the kind of parents they have got and thanking God for the bliss he bestowed on girls like us, for I know many daughters are not wanted, some are even picked up from garbage bins and some are killed in the womb. So for me to be able to live life on my conditions, away from the so-called normal societal norms, it took a lot from my parent’s end to be able to give me that part of life to live. I never had a curfew time, never had to argue over things I wanted, never had to explain myself to anyone and I absolutely never was treated anything less than a princess. No matter how miserable my life becomes, I will always be grateful to bhagwaanji for the kind of parents he gave me. They are still the best part of my life by far and trust me, I have had a beautiful life with them no matter what life threw at us.
In a world where girls are behaved badly and discriminated with, in a world where women still wants and needs to get empowered, I was living in a dream world where the discrimination was never against me. Discrimination existed but in my favor. My bhaiya kept me away from all the troubles all my life and my parents managed to extravagantly shower me with their precious and unconditional love. I am still a boss-baby at my home where I am the youngest and the most pampered and I am super grateful for that! I wish God gives children, not only daughters, only to those who could give them love like mine did. Otherwise the word ‘Parents’ will lose its meaning altogether (which I see very often these days). I wish its not just a daughter or a son who is cherished on a particular day like this but all children forever are happy everyday for the whole of their lives.
And for the people who celebrated Daughter’s day and wished their daughter with a wide smile on their faces, please celebrate Son’s day as well with the same enthusiasm, because I don’t want to see a day where men desires and needs to empowered as well. What has been done to one part of the world shouldn’t be cause of misbehavior with the other part, instead of solving the first problem!